Takes a bitch to know a bitch:


The day I tried killing myself is the most memorable day of my life. My life hit a restart. I remember being in the hospital room and calling you. I remember hearing you break down. Telling you all the things they did to me. All the mistakes I made. X, to this day, you are my biggest lesson. Everything I am today is thanks to you. Through all the tears, laughs, smiles and heartaches…. Despite all the bad I would do it all over again. You and I are meant for each other. One day, we’ll have our happy ending. I’ll keep moving forward for us. 



“Who called you? Ashley?!” X says as he wipes the tears from his face and paces back and forth. “It doesn’t matter who called me. How do you know?” I ask. “I know because my friend just sent me the video. God, this is so embarrassing. I’m a laughing stock. Imagine what everyone is going to say, fuck man, what am I supposed to do?” he asks. “What are you supposed to do? Brit’s the one that’s exposed. How can you care more about how you feel than how she feels?” I ask. “Oh, now you care about how she feels? Why don’t you care about how she feels when I make love to you? When you try to tell me rumors about her? Why the fuck don’t you care then?” he says. Typical guy, makes me feel like the bad guy for only stating the truth. You see, when a toxic person is wrong, they don’t try to argue why they’re right…. they try to argue why you’re just as wrong. “Wait a god damn second, I don’t owe Brit anything, YOU DO. You’re her boyfriend. You’re such a laughing stock right? That feeling of embarrassment, how do you think she feels? She’s the one actually in the video. Brit’s an idiot but she’s a nice person. I’m sorry that I love you but that doesn’t mean that I want any harm to anyone.” I say but I can feel myself tearing up. As him and I argue back and forth, his phone begins to ring. “It’s Brit, do I answer?” he asks. He looks at me with these puppy eyes. I see so much good in his eyes. I see a future in his eyes, how can I ever be mean to him? “Yeah, answer.. let’s see what she says.” I say. He answers and puts his phone on speaker. “Yo, what’s up?” he asks. Brit is screaming and crying. “Babe, that video is from before us. I can’t believe someone would do that. Please, you have to believe me. I can’t lose you. You just met my parents a few days ago. Please baby please, I can’t let you leave. Don’t break up with me. You’re my everything.” she says. Honestly, I understand what she’s saying. Shit, I think I’m the only person on earth who completely understands what she’s saying. We both love the same man. The only difference is this man actually loves me but should I take pride in that? Should there even be a competition? “Tell her you just need some time to think about things.” I whisper in his ear. He looks at me and nods. “Brit, I just have a lot going on right now and this is a lot. I need some time to process all of this. Can I just have some time to think about all of this?” he says. He stares into my eyes as he tells her this. I’m sad that this is happening to her but I’m also happy. He looks at me and smirks. “I’ll just talk to you later ok Brit?” he says. “I….will die if I lose you, please don’t leave me. Take this time to think but I’m sorry please don’t le-” he hung up. I didn’t even get to hear her finish. “Maybe, this is a blessing in disguise. Fuck that bitch, I’m glad I got to get rid of her. Let’s spend the weekend together baby.” he says. Wow, men. You see how quick his emotions just changed. He was angry and now he’s relieved. “Baby, this is our chance. Let’s forget this nasty bitch and just move on. I’ll find a way to keep things lowkey for now and then once you graduate, we can leave. How’s that sound?” he says. He’s telling me everything I want to hear and I wish I was strong enough to say no. “Leave?” I ask. “Leave, look, you’re a junior this year. You graduate next year, we’ll fucking leave. Forget everyone and everything.” he says with sparkles in his eyes. It’s truly an amazing feeling, having the one you love say things you want to hear. It’s hypnotizing. “Ok, yes yes, let’s spend the weekend together. I have clothes. Fuck the getty. Actually, fuck everything. Let’s just spend the weekend together.” I say as I jump on him. “God, you’re so beautiful…I could stare at you all day…” he says as he holds me. “Hungry, babe?” he says. Babe? Omg, is this what being in a relationship is like? This is the only normal and consistent thing in my life. I can’t let this go. I have to make this work. “Yeah, I am. Can you get food?” I ask. “Yeah, let me get dressed. I’m gonna run to publix.” He says. As he gets dressed, I see his phone ringing. The number isn’t in his contacts but they keep calling him. “Babe, someone’s calling you.” I say. He comes, gives me a kiss and says “Nothing is as important as you. Fuck them. I’m gonna get food and I’m gonna leave my phone here. I’ll be right back.” he says. He walks out of his room and immediately runs back. “Glend, hide in the closet.” he says. “What?!” I ask. “Brit’s here, just hide in my closet until I get her to leave.” He says as she shakes. “Ok ok.” I say as I get comfortable in the closet. I mean I don’t think this can get any worse. “I’ll be right back.” he says. A few minutes pass and I can hear distant arguing. Brit eventually storms in his room. “Please, please, talk to me. Please, listen to me that video doesn’t mean anything.” she says. I’m looking through the closet and see her on her knees begging. “I’m nothing without you please” she says. “Brit, I told you. I just need some days to think about this. Why do things always have to get crazy with you? Why can’t you just handle situations normally?!” X says. My baby, he’s always such a calm and collective individual. He radiates everything I want. I have these front row seats to this argument. He’s just gonna kick her out and we’re going to spend our weekend together. Fuck that bitch, right baby? “I’m pregnant.” she says and his stance completely changes. “I’m pregnant and it’s yours. You can’t leave us. We’re you’re family.” she says as she begins to rub her belly. She grabs his hand and begins rubbing her own belly. “I have a picture of the sonogram….want to see your baby?” she says. “Yeah… I do.” he says. X?… What are you doing?! “Look!” she says as she wipes her tears. “It’s our baby…” she says. “We’re going to be a family baby, just me, you and the baby. You can’t leave us… right!?” she screams. X took a long pause, stared her in the eye, and said “Yeah, just us three…” I guess Brit isn’t as dumb as I thought she was. Now this bitch is playing with my future, now….things are gonna get ugly. I’ll make sure of it, bitch.

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Just a gay boy expressing his chronicles....

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