Luis parked in the parking lot by a nearby park. “Have you done this before?” I turn to him and ask. “No and please don’t tell anyone. I’m just stressed and my girl can’t know. No one can know.” he says. “Don’t you worry, I’ll take really good care of you and I promise I won’t tell anyone.” He gets up and leads me to the back of his car. I give him head for about 10 minutes. He grabs me by my hair and gives me a kiss. “Now, come ride me.” he says. Luis tastes as good as he looks. He’s an average height and built. I’m pretty sure his diet consists of Los Verdes and Chipotle. Making love is awesome but revenge sex is the best sex. As I ride him, all I can think about is how amazing this feels. No feelings, no attachments, and the fact that he has a girlfriend makes this ten times hotter. I’m not supposed to have you but I do. I’m pleasing you because she can’t. You’re fucking me and going home to call your girlfriend. No one has any idea the power I feel. You’re under me. X, someone is doing to me what you should be doing. Someone is touching me and aren’t I yours? “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” he says. Yes, cum for me. All for me. Only me. “Well, that was fun.” I said as I put my clothes on. “Oh my god, I’ve never done something like that before. I’m not gay or anything but wow, you’re awesome.” He says. Of course I am. “Yeah, haha I try.” I say but I’m really just trying to be modest. “Just please don’t tell anyone and we can totally do this again.” he says as he jumps to the driver seat. “Yeah, i’ll keep that in mind. Now can you take me home please, I’m really hungry haha.” I say. “Haha, you didn’t have enough meat?” he says as he gives me a kiss. “I did, now you should go share some with your girlfriend.” I say with a wink. “Yeah, funny.” he says. “Not so funny now, huh?” I can tell he’s nervous now. “Glend bruh, this isn’t a joke. I’m not gay, don’t be telling people I’m gay.” he says. You see that? Men, their egos are the most fragile things on earth. “I won’t, just shut up and take me home.” I say. We get to my trailer and before I close the door, Luis says “Glend, remember don’t tell anyone. I’ll beat your ass if you do.” What an idiot. “You already did that, haha, bye.” I say before I close the door. I walk in to an empty trailer. Almost 10 and my mom isn’t home. I shower, change into pjs and eat. Before I knew it, I was already on my couch lost in my thoughts. The curiosity of men excites me. Men will always be attracted to what they shouldn’t have. I’m their forbidden fruit. I think of all the men in my school who have either tried to or have done something sexual with me. Soccer players, baseball players, swimmers, wrestlers, artists, nerds, freshmen, sophomore, juniors, seniors. Men from every aspect of our school. And it’s not only our school, Luis is an example and doesn’t even go to our school. Mater, Tech, Goleman, Gardens, the list goes on and on. All these men and not one of them compare to you X. As much as I try to deny it, I can’t. I actually feel like I cheated on you. I toss and turn and try to convince myself that it’s not cheating but I feel like I lied to you. X? You told her you loved her. I don’t want to share you with anyone X. Those other guys? I’m not sharing them, they’re not mine. They fuck me but they don’t make love to me. I want to meet your parents, I want you to meet my mom. Maybe you can change my mom, maybe, just maybe we can be happy together. Does that really sound crazy? A future together without Brit. Without opinions, just me and you. It sounds like paradise to me. I fall asleep thinking of what we could be X.
My alarm goes off hours later. I wake up for school and notice my mom still isn’t home. She probably isn’t going to be back until later so there’s not point in even telling her I’m sleeping over Ashley’s. I get up, make some coffee and start getting ready for school. As I look in the mirror, I take one good look at myself and tell myself “You will get through this. You will find a family. You will grow up and become successful. You will save your mom. You will graduate school. You don’t need a father. You are strong. You are smart. You got this.” It’s just a little trick I do every once in a while so I motivate myself. I finish getting ready, pack some clothes for the weekend, and head out. I woke up early enough to catch the bus and I actually have money so I won’t have to beg the bus driver. It’s 6:45 and the bus passes at 6:55 so I’ll make it in time. The bus stop is right in front of my trailer park so it’s not far at all. I just usually walk to either save money or because I just don’t have the money. The bus is always on time which I absolutely love. There’s nothing I love more than punctuality. The bus ride is also very short, it never takes more than 10 minutes. I also take a bus that isn’t so popular so I always find a seat. I wonder what today is going to be like. I love sleeping over Ashley’s house because I get to see how a family works. Maybe her mom will even order pizza, I love when families order pizza. To me, pizza friday nights are one of the cutest things a family can do. Also, I wonder what this getty is going to be like. I always feel out of place at those things until I get extremely drunk and then I end up making a fool out of myself but people still invite me so whatever. The last bus stop is at the Burger King across the street from our school. We’re still early so I decided to stop by Publix before school starts to get a juice. I cross the street to the Publix plaza and as I’m walking past the parking lot, I couldn’t help but notice Brit’s car. It’s on the other side of the plaza but I can notice it because of the color and the rims. X always brings up how much he hates Brit’s car so I can spot that car from a mile away. I walk into Publix, get my juice really quickly, pay and as I’m walking out I see Kevin slam Brit’s car door and storm off. He’s so angry he doesn’t even notice I was walking out. I see him walk the opposite direction of the school so he’s probably going home. I see Brit pull out so I try to walk so she doesn’t notice. I hear honking, fuck she noticed. “Glend!! You need a ride??” she says as she pulls up next to me. “No thank you though! The school is right there! haha” I say. Fuck, I hope she doesn’t insist. “Bro, I insist. Please! I really need a friend right now.” god damn it. “Yeah sure, no problem.” I get in the car and I can tell she’s been crying. She leaves the plaza but has been quiet since I got in. “You know Glend, guys suck.” No sis, your guy sucks me all day. “Yeah, guys suck alright. haha. Just be single like me.” I say. That actually would solve a lot of my problems. “I should be, they all think I’m fucking stupid.” Yeah they do. “No, they don’t Brit. You’re really smart.” I say. “You don’t believe that, even you think I’m stupid.” she says. “No I don’t Brit, why would you think that?” I do think you’re stupid bitch. We’re entering the student parking lot and she turns to me and cries “I know you think I’m fucking stupid Glend.” Ok now this is getting pathetic. “Why would you think I think you’re stupid?” Who knows, maybe she’ll give me a new reason. She parks the car. Turns it off, wipes her tears, turns to me and says “I think you think I’m stupid but I’m not. I swear I’m not. Tell me Glend, why the fuck were you leaving my boyfriends house yesterday after he told me he wasn’t feeling well?” Aw shit, maybe she isn’t stupid.